my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
