Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
