There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
My ATM looks so different sober.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
