Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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