quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
