In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
