I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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