was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
