We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
