I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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