To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
