So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
