I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
love makes seman taste better
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
