Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
do nipples grow back?
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