haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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