I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
