So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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