He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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