All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
