if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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