I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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