OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
