he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
