Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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