Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
