i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
