I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
