Can i not drive my cunt home
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
