you guys were way drunker than both of me
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
