We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
It's shark week go big or go home
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
