after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
