my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
