I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
