so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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