Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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