security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
