so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
