I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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