She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
