My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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