i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize