Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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