I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
