i always forget guys have bellybuttons
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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