at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
