I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
