ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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