I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
