she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
