she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
