Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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