White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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