it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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