i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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