were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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