Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
