Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she woke up with a sticky ear
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
