update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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