He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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