he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
