so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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