I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Do vagina's smell?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
