I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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