so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
