Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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