dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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