My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
