Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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