Sponge bath it is.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
