we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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