My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ladies don't puke and tell
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize