the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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