I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
