So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
