Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
