she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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