You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
This house was built for laser tag.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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