Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
