I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think a kid would responsible me up
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just want to make out with him forever
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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