Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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