So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
