The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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