So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize