69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
