Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
