I wanna bring you to show and tell
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
