Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
